Because this blogging crap is hard work!
OK, today’s post we’re going to get caught up on the past 4 days of my trip, which are the first four days of returning home.
By the way, there’ve been some complaints that the blog page is slow to load, so I fixed that.
July 7th – Wells NY to Punxsutawney PA: It’s always a mixed bag of emotions starting a journey like this. At the beginning of the first leg I was having general anxiety about starting the journey, plus excitement, plus the reality that I was going to really miss Gwen and the boys. The journey home was a much simpler deal… I’m going to miss Gwen and the boys. The leaving was easy, the journey was easy, the saying goodbye is the hard part.
The ride to Punxy was relatively easy. 453 miles. That used to seem like a lot. Now, it’s a short day. I left the lake house early so I could make it to the National Soaring Museum by 10am when it opened. That was definitely a highlight. If you’re a soaring pilot, don’t miss it. I’ll post photos later.
From there I went to Punxy. Now, everything in Punxy is centered around Phil. The loveable little groundhog that makes his world famous weather prediction every Febaruary 2nd. Every business has a 4 foot tall Phil outside. I did the tourist thing and went to Gobblers Knob. Then I had dinner at Punxy Phil’s. Their slogan is Cakes and Steaks. Silly me… I thought they meant cakes… like the dessert. And steak… like from a cow.
Ohhh no. They meant cake like hotcake, and steak like greasy horrible hamburger that tastes like the lady’s cigarrette in the smoking section 5 feet away.
Yuk. Skunked out on the Punxy Phils. Oh and Pennsylvania… get with the program and get a no smoking indoor law going. Jeezus H.
And now for my favorite thing in the whole world to blog about… the Amish!! Talk all the shit you want, because until they invent a computer that runs on the power of a butter churn, they’ll never read it! Ha.
I nearly ran over a few of those pesky little bearded bastards in their horse drawn buggies. Don’t speed in Amish country. Their cars are only 1 horsepower. Turns out, according to the locals that the Amish around Punxy are “not the good Amish” but the ones that have been cast out and shunned.
I guess that’s my major gripe with the Amish, is their heavy usage of shame and shunning. If you want to explore the world and spread your wings… nope. You do that, you get shunned and can’t come home. It’s their defense mechanism against extinction. Because I assure you, one spin on a Ducati with a cute girl on the back and it’s “Hey… fuck this farming by candle light business!”
I do find it ironic that the shunned Amish remain Amish. If you only stay Amish so you can remain part of your community, and your community shuns you anyway, shouldn’t you just bust out?? I’d be chillin in the south of France faster that you can say Jeremiah Joseph Yoder.
Oh and one final note on PA. Summer is road work season. I passed more orange barrels in one day than all of the Chins in China. (Put that in your PC pipe and smoke it.)
July 8 – To Indy: I passed through 4 states, PA, West Va., Ohio, and Indy. Somewhere along that ride… And I honestly have absolutely no idea where… I passed the AMA Motorcycle Hall of Fame and Museum. WOO WEE!! Bike heaven. I grabbed some cool viddy and photos, so I’ll share more about that later. But dude… WICKED.
From moto heaven it was on to Kettering Ohio to check out the Rob Dyrdek/DC Shoes Skate Plaza. After that, I grabbed what can losely be called food and headed for Indy to meet up with Duwayno.
Now, I’ve got some minimum requirements for my friends. They’ve got the be intellectual, funny, hip, and above all, my friends have to be able to give me shit. I dish out the shit to my friends. They’ve got to give it back.
This element of my relationship ties into a conversation I was having with Duwayno not 5 minutes after seeing him again after 6 years. I was telling Waynoman how I stopped for lunch at White Castle, and how it was absolutley the most disgusting meal I’ve ever had. My mind had been boggled for the remaineder of the day on how a food chain can grow and thrive by selling the worst hamburgers on the planet. Duwayno was quick to point out “You’re supposed to go at 2 in the morning when you’re drunk. If you go during the day when you’re sober, you’re a fucking idiot.”
I’d never been before by the way.
But more importantly Wayno was giving me major shit, which meant that nothing had changed in 6 years. So that was really cool. And Duwayno hasn’t changed a bit. Actually that’s not true. He’s a better man today than I’ve ever known, and I rate him as one of the top people I’ve ever met in my life.
It was great to see him.
So, after 500 miles on the bike, with the prospect of another HUGE day the next day, we did exactly what two people should not do… we went for sushi then got trashed on Johnnie Walker Black.
Wednesday I woke up at nearly 10am, and we proceeded to brunch until after 2pm. THEN I left for Kansas City and pulled 561 miles until 10:30 at night.
By the way, my plans for arrival went completely in the shitter. My destination was Kansas City so I planned on passing through the city and getting a hotel room on the other side so I wouldn’t get caught in morning traffic. On the MO side of Kansas City there are about 20 miles of burbs.
On the Kansas Side. Nothing. Nada. Squat. Nuttin.
There’s a goddamn toll road to Topeka. Half way to Topeka I got off the toll road at the motel 6 (smokey ass shit dump… Kansas as it seems is also behind the times with the smoking laws). I didn’t know I was headed onto a toll road, and I didn’t have cash, just change. So when I got off the road it was $1.40. I handed the toll booth attended all of the change in my pocket and asked her to give me back what was left over (gloves on you see).
Turns out I was 14c short. I had 1.26 in the pocket, .26 of which was canadian. The nice attendent (the horrible cantankerous smiteful bitch) immediately went into “I’m calling the state trooper mode” and “You’re going to have to wait here until the cops arrive.”
For 14 fucking cents.
After a few choice words (by me) she finally said “well you can use a credit card.”
I was fuming, something like “Listen bitch…don’t you think you could have mentioned the credit card option before the calling the troopers option, it’s 10:30 at fucking night and I just want to go to bed.”
What a horrible miserable piece of shit of a person. Screw her. She was the Agent Smith to Duwaymo’s Neo. Life in balance I guess.
Today’s ride was through Kansas. I can sum it up in three words “Don’t go there.”
OK, that’s a bit severe. Kansas was pretty, but the people are toothless and backwards and the wind blows hard across the praries.
I’m in Colorado Springs tonight. It’s been a real treat. I’ve met some nice friends, checked out the local high end audio salon, and had the single malt sampler with my baby back ribs.
Now I’m off to watch Cash Cab, Deadliest Catch, Man Vs Wild and Mythbusters. Then spank my monkey and go to sleep.
Because of the big mileage of the last two days (561 and 555) I’ve only got short easy days ahead. So I’m going to take my time and enjoy the rocky mountains.
Talk to you soon.